Kids Say the Darndest Things

 

This girl rocks my world. I can’t believe that I’ve been allowed to play a part in her life. Her prayer for her future is so incredibly perfect. And such a good summary of my last year.

Lord, I want you to humble me. I want to be in situations where I have to rely completely on who you are, as if my life depended on it. I want to believe that what you have for me is not only sufficient, but absolutely fulfilling. I need to stop acting as though my plans are good enough that if you ever didn't come through for me, I could take care of myself. Make me see that your plan is flawless and get me excited about all these unknowns.

A year ago, I was sitting on a hammock at the CICRIN orphanage on Ometepe Island in the middle of Lake Nicaragua, trying to plan the next stage of my life. It wasn’t easy. There were things I wanted, things I thought I needed, things that seemed best, things that made the most sense- none of which were the same. I realized I was going to have to walk away from people I deeply cared about and truly loved. Through prayer, reflection and good conversation, I realized that Maryland was the answer to “the” question- What are your plans for after graduation?

But first, I needed a break. After a crazy, over-committed senior year, I needed one last summer vacation. I blamed it on other things- weddings mostly- but it was a selfish decision. I knew that if I was going to start all over in a new state, I needed to “refill my cup.” Naturally, I thought of camp- which has always been such a source of peace, love and refreshment for me. When Blakey-Blake called me the day after I submitted my online application, I stopped “thinking” and realized the decision had already been made for me. I’d spend the summer at Riverview.

And there I was humbled. Exhausted, weary, overwhelmed and completely reliant and dependent on God. Reminded of how fulfilling it is to serve Him with everything and forced to acknowledge that I couldn’t do it on my own.

I left there rejuvenated, loved and ready to take on the world. I spent a few weeks driving cross-country (again) seeing people I truly loved and deeply cared about. I reluctantly drove away from them, and began my new life in Maryland. I applied for jobs and found a new church home. And then I applied for more jobs.

And nothing happened. I turned in resumes, and I went to a job fair and I submitted online applications. Nothing.

Then I went to church and talked to Brent about getting involved in student ministry. And he offered me a job I didn’t know was available doing what I loved “while I looked for a nursing job.” And I filled out more applications. I got one interview- at the number one hospital in the nation, on the floor of my favorite age group, the one with which I had the most experience. I meshed really well with the nurse manager and the nurses on the floor.

And then we got the call from Daddy.

And I got on a plane and got to use the skills I’d acquired over the last four years to care for my most important patient. I up and left an office full of caring people who understood the situation and told me to take as much time as I needed, not to worry about work.

And then I got to tell Daddy about my job offer mere hours before I had to say goodbye to someone I deeply cared about and truly loved.

And there I was humbled. Exhausted, weary, overwhelmed and completely reliant and dependent on God. Reminded of how fulfilling it is to serve Him with everything and forced to acknowledge that I couldn’t do it on my own.

I was surrounded by friends and family who listened and helped me grieve, organize, pack and move. I received more encouraging notes than I think I’ve ever sent in my life, not to mention countless texts and facebook messages. From people I talked to everyday and people I hadn’t spoken to in months.

And slowly but surely, life started moving again. I got to share my story with my students. I got to buy new scrubs and plan for the perfect job. And then I started that job on Monday and learned all about the history of the organization to which I now belong- one full of excellence, discovery and extreme intelligence.

And I remembered that it’s been almost a year since I really thought like a nurse. I looked around the room and realized that half of the people starting as new grads were doing so having just finished their masters degree. And I worked my first full forty hour. I finished off the week at my church’s middle school overnighter. Amongst the 53 screaming middle schoolers and organized chaos of laser tag, dodgeball, card games, candy, cookies and an unlocked coffee machine, I had a few really great conversations with some of our really great leaders.

And there I was humbled. Exhausted, weary, overwhelmed and completely reliant and dependent on God. Reminded of how fulfilling it is to serve Him with everything and forced to acknowledge that I couldn’t do it on my own.

Get ready Kels. A prayer like that will rock your world... for the better.